How Do I?

One of the elements missing from many self-tests is awareness of actual brain function. People have little insight into the various areas of the brain and how they work. The MeQ™ doesn’t cover all of these areas, that’s for sure. But it does look at brain function from the self-awareness angle of creating our ideal self (in the present and into the future). In order to do that, we need to have insight into our wants / desires and also be able to chart a course to get there. In other words, we need to be good at setting goals that are highly relevant to and aligned with where we want to go, and we need to know how to get those goals too.

These two things – our wants and our ability to set and achieve goals – are very much entwined with how our brain works. The more we know about how the brain works, the more likely we are to know our wants and how to achieve the goals that will get us there. And the more confident we are in achieving our goals, the more our wants become authentic and the more we will look within to pursue and achieve our ideal self.

Unfortunately, research shows that people generally achieve 50% or fewer of their goals, especially within the timeline they originally set. That in and of itself negatively impacts one’s self-efficacy, or the belief we have in our ability to achieve our goals or tasks. That lowers self-confidence and, in turn, lowers the likelihood of setting similar future goals, or any goals at all really. In addition, the negative internal (and sometimes external) feedback of not accomplishing goals also means we tend not to even attempt what feels like the futile exercise of figuring out what we want in life for ourselves. Planning for the future sometimes feels useless.

“Goal getting” (i.e. what do I want, how do I get there, what actions are working and which are not, etc) is frequently included in self-development programs but the relationship to self-awareness and creating our ideal self is not explored. This aspect of self-awareness is often neglected when, in fact, increasing one’s goal-getting abilities is foundational to all aspects of self-development because, if you can only pinpoint things you want to improve but lack confidence in making and achieving the goals, the exercise becomes hollow.

If your total was under 25
You either don’t bother setting goals or you infrequently achieve the ones you do set. The question “where do you want to be in five years’ time” is probably difficult for you to answer and you pay little attention to forward planning, especially at work. This may lead you (or perhaps your employer and others around you) to believe that your long term future is very uncertain.

If your total was between 26 and 50
You haphazardly get things done and your to-do list is much longer than you can tolerate. You feel deflated at all the things left unfinished. It is quite likely that, while you have desired outcomes for 1, 5, 10 years or more from now, you feel a twinge of inadequacy in getting yourself there.

If your total was between 51 and 75
You likely have a system in place that helps you to achieve some of your goals. However, you do not use the system regularly or you keep switching between goal achievement systems in the hopes one will be better than the other. You probably set quarterly or annual objectives at work and in your personal or social life but do not prioritize the attitudes and actions necessary for achieving them. Five years or more from now feels very far off so you do not plan beyond three years.

If your total was over 75
You are likely one of the few people to achieve at least 70% of your goals. You have probably been using a system that provides you with both accountability and some type of external encouragement. Everything on your action list is doable, though you recognize that perhaps some could be more clearly articulated. You are generally relaxed in all areas of your life, but feel stressed more often than you would like.

The information below outlines several attitudes and actions of someone with a high MeQ™ score in this section. Please use them as a path of development for yourself. Again, this is not about labels – it is about learning.

How do I at Work
Someone with a high score in this area of the MeQ™ will be prioritizing performance goals and you recognize what you can and cannot control. Even with a very good systems in place, things get off-track sometimes but you do not get stressed on those occasions. Instead, you have an inner confidence that helps you to get refocused and productive again. You take responsibility for your attitudes and actions, even when they do not work out as originally planned. People enjoy working on projects with you because they know where they stand and you are reliable. Work is a source of positive energy for you but it is not your whole identity. Your future plans are in place and, as you work purposefully toward them, you feel joyful and excited about what you are creating.

How do I at Rest
Those who score high in this section of the MeQ™ tend to have very close and open relationships with their nearest and dearest. As you and those around you pursue your goals, you encourage your significant partner / family and ask that they encourage you too. They hold you accountable and, rather than being stubborn or offended if taken to task for falling behind, you appreciate and value their input. Home (i.e. rest) is another source of relaxation for you and, while the task list of household items may be long, you feel an ease in getting things accomplished, mainly because you recognize the importance of your environment being comfortable for you (and your partner, if appropriate). As with work, you take full responsibility for your attitudes and actions and do not try to deflect problems or obstacles to other people or circumstances. You spend your days doing things you feel you want to do rather than those things you tell yourself you have to do.

How do I at Play
We generally underestimate the degree to which our personal identity is related to our social connections. You do appreciate this, however, and your social life is a positive source of energy and enjoyment. Your friends and contacts know they can depend on you to help them create success in their own life and you have more than enough energy to go around. Because your own goals and wants are confidently being taken care of, you do not feel drained or “put upon” by requests from others. Your social schedule is balanced and is not draining. This doesn’t mean you will do everything for everyone – it simply means you know what you want and how you are going to get it, so when others ask for your time or energy, you have it in reserves and can give openly, even to just one person at a time.